God, if you exist, let me see...

I was presenting at an important meeting and the nervous jitters were no joke, so right before the meeting started, I looked out of my window and quickly prayed, “God, I know, I really do know you’re here and I know this is silly and I haven’t done this in a while, but if you’re here, please let me see anything fly. A bird, a plane, a - …”

In that moment, a saw a little yellow leaf flying up in the sky. It was small, but it was visible and I couldn’t help but laugh.

I used to do this all the time.

Whenever I needed a sign for anything, whether it was His existence to making life decisions, I used to always ask God to see a “yellow car”, “let the wind shake me while walking”, or whatever that would pop to mind. Of course when God would give me those “signs” I would immediately think, “wait, that was too easy… no that couldn’t be Him” and immediately ask Him for that same sign again and of course that’s when it felt like I heard nothing.

Looking back at this, it made me realize how much I’ve “grown-up” in my trust in Him. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel like a child with God and to be honest, I love that I can be a child, not have my act together, be as flawed and as annoying as I am with Him. It amazes me how much patience He has.

I think one of my favorite “signs” that God gave me was when I was back in college. I had a lot on my mind and I was asking God if I should move forward with a certain decision. It was raining hard, so I asked him to have the wind push against me if the answer was yes.

He almost immediately let the wind push against me to the point I felt like my umbrella would break and I couldn’t walk properly. After a good 15 seconds of fighting to walk straight, the rain and wind calmed and I got this message from God -

Regardless of the “sign” I give you, I know you’re going to do what you want to do, and that’s okay because I’ll be here for you and I will eventually help direct you to the right path. The question is whether you want to take the hard route where you’ll be pushing through the storm like you were just now or you trust me, not move forward with the decision, and you’ll be here under the sun. It’s up to you and I will be walking with you regardless of your decision and be there to help you find your path if you get lost, so the choice is yours.

I remember getting chills when this happened because when I heard the message of being “under the sun”, the sun shined through the leaves and were hitting the floor and that I had “a choice”?! This felt like it was the first time in my Christian walk that I clearly heard that I have a choice and God was content with whatever decision I made too.

Crazy, right?

I knew I shouldn’t move forward with the decision but my mind was already set, so it was nice to hear from God that He wasn’t mad at me about it. I did end up going through a bigger rollercoaster than I probably would’ve liked but I do not regret my decision in taking the hard route and never once did I feel God’s anger or disappointment too. It was moreso, “I’m not judging you, I’m here for you, let’s get through this together” and that made me feel so loved and thankful to have a God who loves me more than I could ever love anyone or anything.

Have you ever asked for “signs” from God? If so, what’s one of your favorite “signs”?